Among the
various titles by which Christians were called in the New
Testament surely the most wonderful is that given by the
Lord Jesus - "Ye are my friends":
"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man
lay down his life for his friends. Ye are my friends if
ye do the things which I command you. No longer do I call
you servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord
doeth: but I have called you friends: for all things that
I heard from my Father I nave made Known unto you. Ye did
not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you, that ye
should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should
abide" (John 15:13-16).
It is indeed a very wonderful and beautiful thing that
the Son of God called such as the disciples were, and
such as we are, His friends. I do not think there is a
greater or more beautiful word in all our language than
that word 'friend'. It is the most intimate title in all
human relationships. Every other relationship that we can
think of may exist without this. Perhaps we think that
the marriage relationship is the most intimate, but it is
possible for that relationship to exist without
friendship. Happy indeed is the man whose wife is his
friend, and happy is the wife whose husband is her
friend. It is a very close relationship between children
and parents and parents and children, but it is a great
thing when the father can call his son his friend, and
when he can say, not 'my son', but 'my friend'. And,
again, it is a great thing when a child can say, not only
'my father', but 'my friend': 'my father is my friend' -
'my mother is my friend'. It is something extra in
relationship. We may admire a person and have a lot of
association with them: we may think that we know them and
could say: 'Well, I know so-and-so very well',
but, even so, there may not be friendship. Friendship is
always just that bit extra.
When Jesus said: "Ye are my friends", He was
going beyond 'Ye are My disciples' and 'Ye are My
followers'. He could have called them by many other
names, but when He said: "Ye are my friends" He
went beyond anything else. And I think that the Lord
Jesus found the most complete satisfaction of His heart
in this word. To say "Ye are my friends" was as
far as anybody could possibly go. Really, there is
nothing beyond it. You reach the end of all relationships
when you really come to friendship. How rich and how
precious, then, is this title!
In the picture of the new Jerusalem which we have at the
end of the Bible it says: "The foundations of the
wall of the city were adorned with all manner of precious
stones" (Revelation 21:19). The foundation of that
city was that which was most precious, and I think the
most precious foundation of life is friendship. The new
Jerusalem itself will be built upon the foundation of the
friendship between the Lord Jesus and His own.
Well, that is just a little about friendship. But what is
the nature of friendship? We have it here in John 15:
"No longer do I call you servants, for the servant
knoweth not what his lord doeth, but I have called you
friends: for all things that I heard from my Father I
have made known unto you." Friendship is that
position which makes it possible to open the heart fully,
to keep nothing back; and to have such confidence that
you can trust the other person with all that is in your
heart. Jesus said: 'All that the Father has shown Me I
have shown you. I have kept nothing back from you. I have
put perfect confidence in you. I have had no suspicions
of you and have not been afraid to say just what was in
My heart.'
You know, that is very wonderful. Go back again in this
Gospel by John and in chapter two you will find:
"Now when he was in Jerusalem at the passover,
during the feast, many believed on his name, beholding
his signs which he did. But Jesus did not trust himself
unto them, for that he knew all men, and because he
needed not that any one should bear witness concerning
man, for he himself knew what was in man" (John
2:23-25).
Jesus knew all men, and because of that He did not commit
Himself to them... "Now there was a man of the
Pharisees, named Nicodemus" (John 3:1), and what
follows shows that Jesus knew Nicodemus and He did not
commit Himself to him. Nicodemus was not in the position
of a friend, at least, not at this time. How much he was
before the end we do not know. He did act like a friend
in the burial of Jesus, for something had happened to him
by that time. But at this time he was amongst those men
to whom Jesus did not commit Himself. He simply said, in
effect: 'Before I can commit Myself to you, you must be
born again.'
That is the beginning of this friendship. Yes, Jesus has
told us that the real nature of friendship is that He can
just commit Himself to His friends. He said many things
to other people, but He did not put Himself into their
hands. And that is all the difference. You may have a lot
of fellowship, say a lot of things, and they may be quite
true things, but that is not putting yourself into the hands
of those people. There is all the difference between
conversation and fellowship and committal.
Friendship means that you have committed yourselves to
one another - you have really put yourself into the hands
of the other person. That is what Jesus said friendship
means: "All things that I heard from my Father I
have made known unto you." 'I have had no reserves
where you are concerned.'
I am sure you are feeling that this is a very wonderful
thing and are wondering more and more at it as we go on.
Just think that the Son of God should do that - that He
should be willing to commit Himself to some people!
And these were not empty words. He went on to show that
He would prove His friendship. What is the proof of
friendship? Well, of course, it is firstly, as we have
said, committing yourself to the other.
But then Jesus said this: "Greater love hath no man
than this. That a man lay down his life for his
friends." That is the proof of friendship. How much
are you prepared to sacrifice, to suffer and to put up
with? "A man lay down his life for his
friends." Now, of course, you are thinking of one
thing - of dying in some way for your friends. But there
are a thousand ways of laying down your life for your
friends. It is a matter of laying down our lives
all the time - not just some big act of dying for our
friends, but every day laying down our lives, letting
something of ourselves go, letting some personal interest
go and just saying: 'That does not matter - it is for my
friend. That is not so important - it is for my friend.'
Friendship makes everything else unimportant. If there is
real friendship we do not stay to say: 'Well, now, must I
do that? Am I really obliged to do that? Can I not get
out of it in some way? Really, is there any harm in my
doing this?'
You know, that is the attitude of a lot of Christians.
'Why may I not do this? Is there any harm in it? A lot of
other people do it so why should I not do it? I even know
Christians who do it. Must I really not do this?'
Supposing Jesus had taken that attitude! No, friendship
puts all that kind of thing away and never talks about
'Must I?' 'Is there no other way?' This is a laying down
of the life for a friend.
So I say that there are many ways of laying down our
life. What is laying down our life? It is just holding
that nothing is too valuable or important to be kept from
our friend. It does not matter what it costs, or how
painful it is - friendship makes it possible.
We have the great illustration in the Bible. There is
only one man in all the Bible who was called God's
friend: "Abraham... the friend of God" (James
2:23). What a wonderful thing to be said of any man -
"Abraham, my friend", said God (Isaiah 41:8).
It is God speaking about a man, and He is saying "My
friend"! How could God call Abraham His friend? What
made Abraham a friend of God? "Take now thy son,
thine only son, whom thou lovest... and offer him"
(Genesis 22:2). What did Abraham say? 'You have asked too
much. Isaac is too precious. He is everything to me. Oh,
no, I cannot offer him!'? No, Abraham did not talk like
that. I think it is most wonderful when it says:
"And Abraham rose early in the morning, and saddled
his ass, and took two of his young men with him, and
Isaac his son, and he clave the wood for the burnt
offering" (Genesis 22:3). I venture to suggest to
you that if you were faced with that you would not get up
early that morning! You would be staying in bed just as
long as you could and putting it off as long as possible.
But it says: "Abraham rose early in the morning."
What was he about to do? He was about to enter right into
the heart of God in giving his only begotten son, and
enter right into fellowship with the passion of God's
heart. "God so loved... that He gave His only
begotten Son." It was because of that that Abraham
was God's friend. He had entered right into the heart of
God and counted nothing too precious for the friendship
of God.
"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay
down his life for his friends", and in offering
Isaac Abraham indeed laid down his life. "Abraham,
my friend." That is the nature of friendship. And
Jesus proved His friendship. This is the proof - that He
has laid down His life.
Then we go on to ask another question: What is the basis
of this friendship? Jesus knew what was going to happen
in the near future, for it was getting very near to the
day when they would all forsake Him, and yet, knowing all
that, He said: "Ye are my friends." There must
be some basis which is more than just this present time.
Jesus was looking beyond the Cross, and He was seeing
that the day would come when these men would stand
strongly on the ground of the Cross. We now have the full
story. Oh, yes, not so long after this they were letting
everything in this world go for Him. The Cross had truly
entered into their hearts. The spirit of the Cross had
truly taken possession of them and they were standing
firmly upon that ground. And Jesus knew that that was how
it would be. He knew what was going to happen in the next
few days, but He was always speaking to them about afterward,
that human failure was not the last thing and was not
going to be the end of everything. To that poor, failing
Peter He said this: "And do thou, when once thou
hast turned again, stablish thy brethren" (Luke
22:32). 'You are going to have a terrible fall, but that
is not going to be the end. You will turn again and you
will have a great ministry afterward.'
Jesus was always looking beyond the Cross, and He saw
that these men would stand upon the ground of the Cross.
The Cross means that you do not hold anything for
yourself, but only for your friend, and that was true of
these men.
But Jesus also saw something else. He knew that before
long they would receive the Holy Spirit and that they
would be governed by Him. And when the Holy Spirit really
takes possession you can be trusted. These men could not
be trusted without the Holy Spirit, but when He came in,
then you could depend upon them. They would not be
governed by personal interests, nor would they have any
fleshly considerations, but they would live by the Spirit
and not by the flesh. And Jesus said: 'On that ground ye
are My friends, and that day is as though it is now. Ye
are My friends because I know that you men are going to
stand on the ground of the Cross and are going to be led
by the Holy Spirit.'
You see, that is the basis of friendship. If we live on
our own natural ground then the Lord will never be able
to depend upon us, but if the Cross has done its deep
work in our hearts, and if we are really governed by the
Holy Spirit, the Lord has all the ground that He requires
to commit Himself to us, all that is necessary for Him to
say: "Ye are my friends."
I think there was one thing that the Lord Jesus knew
about eleven of these men. Yes, they were men of many
weaknesses and many failures. They often said the wrong
thing and often did the wrong thing, but Jesus knew that
He had their hearts. In spite of everything He had
captured their hearts. They had a heart for Him. They may
have made mistakes, and He knew all about that, but He
knew that they had given Him their hearts. They had a
heart for the Lord, and that is the basis of His
friendship. He is saying: 'Have I really got all
your heart? I know all about your weaknesses and your
failures, but, really, is your whole heart over on
my side?'
Judas never gave his heart to the Lord. He had a heart
for himself and for worldly gain. Jesus could never say
to him: 'You are My friend', but He called him "the
son of perdition" (John 17:12). But with these
eleven He was quite sure where their hearts were. He even
saw what would happen when He was on trial and crucified,
but He told them what to do and where to meet Him after
that. He knew that they would come through because they
had a heart for Him. You have only to look at these
people when Jesus had been crucified and was in the
grave. How sad they were! It is as though they had lost
everything in life, and they had lost everything,
simply because they had given their whole hearts to the
Lord Jesus. That is the basis of His friendship.
It is in these things, then, that the Lord is able to
trust us and commit Himself to us. This is the
relationship that the Lord Jesus wants more than anything
else. The breakdown in friendship is so often because of
some natural interest arising, some question of how it is
going to affect us rather than how it is going to affect
Him.
This is something very challenging to our hearts, and it
is a lesson that all of us have to learn. I have to learn
it, and am trying to do so. You have to learn it - that
the greatest thing in all life is how our behaviour
affects the Lord Jesus; how our appearance before the
world affects the Lord Jesus; how differences between us
affect the Lord Jesus. Yes, everything, how it affects
the Lord Jesus. You know, that is the very essence of
friendship. True friendship is always governed by this:
'I would do nothing to hurt my friend. That is the last
thing that ever I want to do!', and Jesus wants to put
our lives upon that basis. He will never do anything to
hurt us, but how much we hurt Him! We must bring
everything to the judgment bar of friendship.
The greatest characteristic of friendship is loyalty. I
do not think there is a greater or grander virtue than
loyalty. You may not always understand your best friend;
he or she may sometimes do things that you cannot
understand, things about which you do not feel very happy
at the moment, but if it is friendship you are loyal to
your friend, whether you understand him or not. You will
not betray your friend or talk about him to his
detriment, nor do anything that would injure him. You
will always be loyal. Faithfulness is the heart of
friendship and that is the attitude of the Lord Jesus.
But the Lord wants to put His disciples on the same
basis. He wants this spirit and nature of friendship to
exist between His own. He wants them to have the same
spirit as is in Himself and to be friends of one another.
We may say: 'Yes, he or she is my fellow-Christian.' As
Christians we may speak of one another as our brothers
and sisters, but I have said there is something more than
that, more than fellow-Christians, more than brothers and
sisters. I suppose I must not put it in the Christian
realm and say more than fathers and mothers, but the
meaning is the same. There is just that something extra -
'He is more than my brother, he is my friend.' 'She is
more than my sister, she is my friend.' Oh, that the Lord
might be able to get that kind of relationship!
May He write this word deeply in our hearts and send us
back to the places where we are going with a heart wholly
for Him! Nothing held back, but a complete committal to
Him, that He has us altogether, and by His grace we will
never do anything that will hurt Him. We will always ask
the question about everything: 'How will this affect my
Lord?' You see, friendship has two sides. It is not
one-sided. It is not friendship when I do all the
friendliness and you do not do any. No, it has two sides.
We must be to Him what He is to us, and we must be to one
another what He is to us.
Now this is going to be a very difficult thing, but
remember the Cross and the Holy Spirit. They are the two
great powers which make this possible. The Cross is not
only the crucifixion of Christ many years ago: it is a
mighty power in life every day. The Holy Spirit is not
somebody who came at Pentecost many years ago. He is here
today and can be in us, and if He really has the control
of our lives the one thing which will concern us most is
'How does my life affect the Lord Jesus?'
Take that message away with you, and seek to live by it
in all the days before us.
From
"A Witness and A Testimony" Mar-Apr, 1969